When we enter a romantic relationship, we're often not handed a guidebook. So, how do we know what to expect from the other person?

If you have no expectations, you may tolerate being disrespected or even mistreated. However, you may be disappointed if your expectations are too high, as no one can live up to your unrealistic standards.

There’s a fine line when it comes to expectations in relationships. Let's take a closer look at what expectations are and why you should have them, as well as ten healthy expectations in a relationship that you should aim for.

What Are Expectations?

Expectations in romantic relationships are simply the firm belief that something will be true in the future or near future. So, relationship expectations are the belief that you will be treated a certain way while in a relationship.

When you enter a relationship, you might have expectations, like that your partner shouldn't see other people or they should share household chores. These are the beliefs you hold about how your partner should behave while you are together.

Why Should You Have Expectations in a Relationship?

You need to have expectations in a relationship to adhere to a set of standards. In this way, you know what you'd like to have in the relationship and what you will absolutely not tolerate.

You need to know if you are looking for a long-term relationship or something more casual.

It's only fair to have these expectations in place so that the other person also knows what you want.

Sometimes, you only realize what you expect once someone does something that you don't like. When this happens, it's important to speak with your partner immediately so they can know your expectations for future reference.

10 Healthy Expectations To Strengthen Your Relationship

People have many different types of expectations when it comes to romantic partnerships, and no two relationships will look the same.

However, a few healthy expectations tend to stand out as the groundwork for a good, strong relationship. Let's dive into the top ten healthy expectations to have in a relationship.

1. Healthy Communication

One of the most important expectations to have in a relationship is healthy communication. Without proper communication, a relationship is doomed to fail.

Studies show that healthy communication is the core contributing factor to a healthy and successful marriage.

Talking is not the same as proper communication. In healthy communication, one person speaks while the other listens.

When your partner is clearly unhappy, you need to be able to approach them and ask, "What's wrong?" They should be able to openly tell you what's going on.

With healthy communication, two people can share their innermost thoughts, feelings, desires, and dislikes while knowing the other person is listening compassionately.

Be sure to pay attention to how your person is acting, and don't try to force them to open up about something if they are not yet ready.

This is where a tool like Waffle Journal, a digital platform designed for couples, family, or friends to communicate and share their feelings, comes in. With Waffle Journal, you can express your feelings to someone without directly talking face-to-face.

So, if something sensitive is bothering you, you can write it down in the shared journal space, and then your partner can log in and read what you wrote. Then, you can write a post sharing your feelings, too. It's a great way to open up about what's happening in the relationship when you may feel nervous about what you want to say.

2. Trust

Another big expectation in a relationship is trust. Without trust, what do you have together? You could constantly invade each other's privacy by searching through phones or questioning each other when you are out of the house.

It is just chaos when there is no trust in a relationship.

It’s important to remember that just because trust has been broken does not mean you can't regain it. However, it takes time and a little bit of space. Any couple who wants to can build trust and have a healthy relationship together.

According to a review of a collection of studies about relationship expectations, trust is associated with:

• Greater relationship satisfaction

• More responsive caregiving

• More positive communication

• More love for partners

• More willingness to invest in the relationship

• More accommodating behavior

• Less controlling behavior

• Less negative responses to conflicts

3. Intimacy

Every couple expects to have intimacy. This doesn't have to be about sex, although that is certainly nice too.

Emotional intimacy is also important. Your partner wants to spend time with you, cuddling on the couch and watching Netflix.

They want you to make them feel special and loved.

Intimacy can simply be listening to one another and discussing your day before you go to sleep every night.

4. Time

One of the most common expectations in a relationship is time. When you are in a relationship with someone, you expect them to want to spend some quality time with you, right?

It is normal to want to spend time with the person you are in a relationship with. You don't always have to go somewhere, either. You can spend time together doing small things like taking long walks outdoors, watching TV, or cooking your favorite meals together.

If you are in a long-distance relationship, you can do these things via Skype or Zoom. Or you could use Waffle's shared journals to connect with each other and spend time together even when you are apart.

5. Validating Each other's Feelings

Have you ever found yourself in a back-and-forth with your significant other and just wanted to scream, "You don't understand me at all!"

What you're trying to convey to your partner is, “I need you to validate my feelings.”

It is essential that you try to understand your partner's point of view, even if you disagree.

It's one of the less talked about but still valid expectations in a relationship.

The next time your partner opens up about something, they may not be asking you to solve the problem. Most likely, they want you to acknowledge how they are feeling. Often, they could just have had a bad day at work and need you to say something like, "It's okay to feel the way that you are feeling right now."

You could use Waffle, the shared journal, to validate each other's feelings. Take Stephan, who uses Waffle with his fiancé to feel seen, heard, and loved.

6. Healthy Boundaries

Healthy boundaries are an expectation in a relationship that can't be ignored. While you may be afraid that you will push your partner away by setting healthy boundaries, the exact opposite is true.

Setting healthy boundaries with your partner is a requirement for any relationship to thrive, even platonic relationships.

You want them to respect your guidelines, and you want to respect theirs as well. So, if your partner is doing something that you think is disrespectful, then tell them about it!

It's good to establish your boundaries early on, but it's never too late to set and enforce healthy boundaries.

7. Respect

A crucial key to a long, healthy relationship is respect. This relationship expectation should be a no-brainer.

Respect means treating each other with the utmost care and kindness, no matter what. So even when you disagree, which you will occasionally do, you still listen to each other and don't judge one another.

When you respect each other, you will not cross boundaries, and you will continue to grow in a healthy manner.

8. Support

Expecting emotional support from your partner is reasonable in a strong relationship. Life will be full of ups and downs, trials and tribulations, and you want the person you are walking life with to support you when times are tough.

For example, if one of your parents happened to get sick, you would need to care for them.

You expect your partner to support you in your choice to help your parents. So, if that means that you want to move your mother into your home to care for her, then your partner should be on board with your decision.

9. Appreciation

When you do something sweet for your partner, you want them to show appreciation for it. Appreciation is another expectation in relationships that also helps grow the relationship. Not to mention, appreciation from the person you love will help build your self-confidence and make you want to do more things for them.

If you do not receive appreciation for folding their clothes or for cooking their dinner every night, you will quickly get tired of doing it altogether.

Another great benefit of using Waffle is showing each other appreciation. One of our users, Amber, says, "Using Waffle has helped us reflect and practice gratitude in our relationship."

10. Space

Nothing can quickly turn a relationship into dysfunction faster than smothering the other person. Of course, in the beginning, it seems like you can't get enough of each other, but as the relationship progresses, it is vital to give each other space.

In any relationship, you always need some "me time." This can be a specific time that you dedicate to practicing self-care, journaling, or simply watching your favorite TV show.

Time apart has been shown to strengthen relationships—you can't miss them if they don't go away sometimes.

Every couple is unique and will require varying degrees of personal space. The best thing to do is openly discuss this as soon as possible and find out what amount of space is good for both of you.

Waffle Is an Excellent Tool for Couples With Healthy Expectations

If you have healthy expectations in a relationship, it will be stronger. You can use a Waffle journal as a tool to deepen your bond.

With Waffle, you can add that extra spark into your relationship that keeps the intimacy going. Shared journaling on Waffle is a great way to align each other's expectations.

Whether you are in a long-distance relationship or looking for a fun new way to communicate with each other, Waffle can be what you need. 

Download the app today and strengthen your connection with your special someone.