Credit: RDNE Stock Project from Pexels

If your special someone lives across the country (or across the world), you know how tough long-distance relationships can be. Having to swap in-person dinner dates with kitchen table FaceTime calls or hugs and kisses with heart emojis can be hard on anyone. And it takes a strong pair to make it work. 

Long-distance relationships (LDRs) are tough, and that’s why some people choose to steer clear of them for life. But despite all the doubts surrounding them, long-distance couples can be some of the closest and most connected out there.

So, how can you protect and nurture your bond with your partner — regardless of distance? Read on for everything you need to know about long-distance relationships, including the myths, facts, and tips for making them last.

The Myths & Facts About Long-Distance Relationships

There are plenty of pessimistic myths floating around about long-distance dating, but the truth is that many of them aren’t grounded in reality.

For example, you might’ve heard people say that distant couples are “doomed to fail,” or that there’s no way your relationship could last without you and your partner regularly seeing each other in person.

But in one 2013 study, researchers found something that may surprise the naysayers: long-distance couples often report deeper emotional intimacy than those who live near each other. 

Why might this be? Experts think it could be because long-distance couples know how much work it is to stay connected, so they’re more intentional about the effort they put in. Another 2013 study also backed this up, with long-distance couples scoring as high as (and sometimes higher than) other couples in many areas of relationship satisfaction.

Can a Long-Distance Relationship Work?

The short answer is yes — many long-distance relationships can and do work out in the long run. 

Of course, not all partners are ready for the level of commitment it takes, and as heartbreaking as it can be, the silver lining is that these people often show red flags or weed themselves out early on. 

But if you and your special person are both in it for the long haul, you can absolutely make things work until you can be together in real life. It might take some trial and error as you work on healthy boundaries, communication, and expectations. But the good news is that there are some reliable strategies that can keep your connection strong until you’re side by side. 

8 Tried and True Tips for Surviving Long-Distance Relationships 

Credit: RDNE Stock Project from Pexels

Whether you’re apart due to work, being college students, or other life circumstances — or you simply found each other online and are planning to meet soon — here are eight of the best steps you can take to survive (and thrive) in an LDR:

1. Tap Into Every Type of Communication

You’ve probably heard it a million times, but communication is key! Whether it’s deep phone calls or lighthearted texts, keeping in touch can make all the difference in how close you and your partner feel. Well-rounded communication can look like:

• Regular check-in texts throughout the day

• Video calls during lunch

• Phone calls before bed

• Sharing funny memes on social media

• Sending your partner Instagram Reels or TikToks that make you think of them

• Writing letters or sending cute gifts in the mail

Every little text or call might feel insignificant on its own. But together, each tiny piece of communication can act as a building block in your relationship. In fact, a 2021 study found that texting more often was linked to feeling more secure and satisfied in long-distance couples.

Another creative way to build intimacy despite distance? Try a shared journaling app like Waffle. Waffle gives you the space to connect and open up on a deeper level about things that might not always come up in everyday conversations. 

Beth, who uses Waffle to feel closer with her partner, shared:

“We communicate much better when we journal about our days and react to them. Journaling together allows us to see a more complete picture of each other's day.“

2. Send Good Morning and Good Night Texts

When you’re long-distance dating, there’s almost nothing better than waking up to a sweet good morning message from your favorite person. And on the flip side, being the sender of that text can be a great way to make your partner’s day. 

Long-term, it can also help you foster a deeper connection by reminding them just how much you’re thinking of them (and vice-versa). 

If you need ideas for good morning texts, keeping it simple with a “Good morning beautiful/handsome!” almost never fails. But you could also say something like:

• “Just woke up and I’m thinking of you! Hope you have a great day. ❤️”

• “Good morning! I miss you my love.”

• “Morning! 💕 Really looking forward to talking later.”

Good night texts have the same benefit of strengthening your relationship while showing your partner they’re the last thing on your mind before you fall asleep. Try something simple like, “Sweet dreams. 😙 Talk to you tomorrow!”

3. Address Anxieties in a Healthy Way

Possessiveness, insecurities, and jealousy can be problematic enough for couples without distance as an obstacle. But being far away from your partner can make it even easier for your thoughts to spiral — especially if communication has been lacking lately. You might have thoughts like:

• “Why do they seem distant when we talk lately?”

• “What if they met someone they’re more attracted to when they went out last night?” 

• “Why haven’t they texted me back all day?”

When thoughts like these happen, pause, breathe, and trust in the commitment that you have made for each other. By taking the time to regulate your emotions, it can make it easier to discuss your fears with your partner (even the irrational ones) in a healthier way.

Often, these anxieties can actually be blessings in disguise because they bring up the conversation of, “How can we help each other feel more secure?” They can also reveal areas where growing your own self-love and confidence could make a difference in your relationship.

4. Talk About Problems When They Come Up

Like every relationship, it’s inevitable that long-distance couples will face problems from time to time. But even if you tend to avoid conflicts, it’s best to get in the habit of dealing with them head-on, and even better if you two can hash things out over a Skype or FaceTime call.

It can also help to remember that it’s you two vs. the problem — and not you two against each other.

For a low-pressure way to tackle issues as a team, shared journaling can be another great communication tool. 

Waffle user Lamia shared the difference this has made for her relationship:

“I use Waffle with my lovely partner and we encourage each other to put in an entry everyday and whenever we may feel a certain type of way… He also got to find out how I think and what may bother me, what makes me happy or sad. It helped us communicate on a better level.“

5. Connect in Person Whenever You Can

Credit: Helena Lopes from Pexels

While you can feel intimate and connected from afar, it’s ultimately important to see each other in person when possible. Whether you head to your partner’s hometown for the holidays or they visit you for a spring vacation, these face-to-face visits can build up your relationship in a few key ways.

Firstly, planning them means you’ll both have something to look forward to, which can help slice through the uncertainty and doubt that can creep up when doing long distance. 

Plus, they’re a great chance to fully experience each other’s quirks and habits — the little things you might miss over video chats. And over time, these moments can help build a sense of closeness that keeps the spark strong even with miles between you.

6. Embrace Vulnerability

Being vulnerable is important in any relationship, but it’s arguably even more crucial when you’re separated by distance. But what does being vulnerable really mean — and what does it look like in practice? 

In a nutshell, it might look like being honest about your worries, fears, or needs without sugarcoating how you feel. It can also look like creating a space where your partner feels safe to let their walls down. Altogether, this can mean:

• Sharing your fears: “I’ve been feeling like we’re a little off lately — can we video call soon?”

• Offering support when they’re down: “I know you’ve been going through a hard time lately. I just want you to know that I’m here if you need to talk.”

• Being open about your future plans: “I’ve really loved getting to know you so far, and I’d love to talk about where things might go in the future.”

7. Plan Out the Future

One of the biggest challenges in long-distance relationships is not having an end goal of being together in person, or a plan for getting there. After all, going to bed without your partner by your side is hard, but it’s even harder not knowing if there’s an end in sight.

So, don’t be afraid to map out plans for how you’ll close the distance once and for all. Some steps you can take include:

• Setting a timeline (it’s OK if it’s a long one). Where do you want to be in a few months, next year, or the year after that?

• Staying flexible and checking in along the way. School, family, or work situations change? No worries, as long as you and your partner are able to talk about it and adapt.

• Talking about finances. This can be a tricky subject for some, but if living together with your partner is an end goal, it’s definitely a conversation worth having. 

8. Mix Things Up With Virtual Dates

Finally, just because you don’t live near your significant other doesn’t mean you can’t have fun date nights together. The good news is that technology makes it easy to get creative with your quality time — but if you need some date ideas to get the ball rolling, you could try:

• Game night. Online games like Grounded, Stardew Valley, or It Takes Two can all be a great time (and come with some guaranteed laughs).

• Watching a movie together. Streaming services like Amazon Prime and Hulu let you host watch parties, which are perfect for virtual movie nights.

• Cooking on a video call together. Preparing a meal together (even over FaceTime) can be a great way to bond — especially if it’s a recipe that neither of you have tried before!

You could also dive into shared journal prompts to learn more about your long-distance partner — or simply show appreciation for everything you love about them.

“The daily questions are great; we sometimes answer those as a way to get to know each other more. This has helped us become closer and feel more cherished by the other.“

James, Waffle user 

Frequently Asked Questions

Here are answers to some of the most commonly asked questions about long-distance relationships:

1. Why Do Long-Distance Relationships Fail?

It’s no surprise that distance itself is usually the biggest reason why long-distance couples break up — but it’s certainly not the only one. Other challenges that can shake the roots of LDR couples include:

• Slowly burning out on communication due to busy schedules or different time zones, which can lead you both to feeling distant.

• Talking only over text, which can cause you to miss out on hearing your partner’s voice or seeing their face light up over video calls.

• Uncertainty about future plans. Without knowing what the future holds, it can sometimes feel like the relationship is stuck in limbo.

• Not planning visits. A lack of in-person reunions (even if they’re only occasional) can leave a gap where physical touch and intimacy would normally deepen your connection.

2. What Percentage of Long-Distance Relationships Work?

It can be hard to study exactly how many long-distance couples last, but in one 2018 survey, researchers set out to do just that. Out of 1,000 couples, they found that a surprising 58 percent reported being successful in the end.

They also found that the four-month mark appeared to be the hardest hurdle to get over — but if you can make it past the eight-month point, things seem to get much easier.

3. Are Long-Distance Relationships Healthy?

Yes — in many cases, they absolutely are!

This is because the extra work that it takes to stay close means your relationship’s foundation will likely be strong, and maybe even stronger than those who take their proximity for granted. You’ll also both have to get pretty good at intentional effort, mindful communication, and healthy expectations, and your partner may even grow into your best friend over time.

The Takeaway 

Long-distance relationships have a reputation for “never working out” — but when you look at things objectively, this simply isn’t true. The bottom line is that communication is key, and as long as you and your partner plan for the future, put in intentional effort, and tackle problems as a team, the rest of the pieces will often fall into place.

For another way to feel close to your special person, Waffle can help. Waffle is a shared journaling app that gives you the space to share photos, thoughts from your day-to-day, and emotions in a healthy way. It also offers daily prompts and questions to help you bond with your partner on a deeper level.

Download Waffle for free today, or read more from couples who have used shared journaling to strengthen their connection.