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Ever had a friend who you could talk to for hours, binge your favorite TV shows with, and share endless inside jokes with — all while never having a physical or sexual relationship? 

Then you’ve had a platonic friend. 

Although some assume that these friendships always end in romance (or that they couldn’t possibly exist due to underlying sexual attraction), these bonds are often as true and real as they come.

Still, if you find yourself catching feelings for your platonic friend — or vice-versa — it can be tricky to navigate. Should you be honest with them? Keep your thoughts to yourself? And if you decide to share your feelings, what if it makes things awkward?

Platonic bonds can sometimes get confusing, but they’re often some of the most meaningful relationships a person can have. Here’s what to know about platonic friendships, including how to nurture them, tips for setting boundaries, and what to do if romantic feelings sneak up.

What Does “Platonic” Really Mean, Anyway?

When you think about it, it might feel like all of your friendships are inherently platonic. And for many people, they can be.

The word “platonic” gets its roots from the ancient Greek philosopher Plato, who wrote about different kinds of love. According to Merriam-Webster, platonic is defined as being “marked by the absence of romance or sex.” So, if going strictly by definition, a majority of friendships are platonic by nature. 

That said, many people use the term “platonic” when talking about close friendships that could be romantic in theory — but aren’t. (Think a pair of girl and guy best friends who’ve kept each other in the friend-zone since childhood.)

These relationships often have an element of closeness, support, and affection, but in a completely nonsexual way. And if you and your best friend have ever cracked up together after being mistaken for a couple, you might know exactly what this type of bond is like.

Types of Platonic Relationships

When people think of platonic relationships, they often picture a dynamic duo between two people of the opposite sex. But there are many types of platonic love in the world, and they don’t always have to involve different genders. A platonic relationship can look like:

• A bromance

• Work besties or work spouses

• A girlfriend who feels like your sister

• A partner in crime, or someone who you always get into shenanigans with

The Surprising Benefits of Having Platonic Friends

Ever heard of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs? It’s a theory in psychology that goes like this: 

When it comes to well-being, humans have needs ranging from basic ones (like food and shelter) to more complicated ones, like relationships and self-esteem. Maslow ranked these needs in a pyramid shape, with the bottom two levels being made up of essentials like food, water, and security. But in the third level of that pyramid is love and belonging. 

Platonic friendships play a major role in this fundamental human need for love and belonging, and they can add to your lifelong health and happiness. 

According to the Mayo Clinic, having friendships like these can:

• Improve your sense of belonging in the world

• Give you a greater sense of purpose

• Help you cope with tough times, trauma, and loss

• Support you in building healthier lifestyle habits

With these benefits in mind, it’s important to embrace the platonic relationships that add meaning to your life, whether that’s a girlfriend who shares your love of gaming or a work bestie who gets you through the chaos of the day.

Throughout the Journey: How To Maintain a Platonic Friendship

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If you’ve already got a tight-knit crew of platonic friends, chances are you already practice some healthy habits in your relationships. But if you want to nurture these friendships for life, here are some steps that can help you do just that:

1. Define and Set Boundaries

Platonic bonds can be some of the closest relationships we have, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have boundaries. Boundaries are essential because they can protect your mental health, improve your sense of identity, and help you build friendships based on mutual respect and trust. So, if you share an intimate but nonphysical bond with someone, it’s important to lay out ground rules that work for both of you.

With some friends, you might be OK with a little bit of non-romantic physical contact, like hugs, cuddles, or other types of friendly touch. After all, not all types of touch need to carry a sexual or romantic intent behind them. 

But if you or your friend aren’t typically touchy — and being friends with benefits isn’t exactly on the table — it’s best to talk ahead of time about the types of physical contact you’re both OK with. Not only will this show your friend that you’re considerate of their needs, but it also helps prevent any awkwardness from someone misreading the vibes or making a move. 

2. Get To Know Them Deep Down

When you spend enough time with a friend, you’ll naturally learn about the ins and outs of their personality. 

But making an intentional effort to really get to know them — their deepest beliefs, creative goals, or newest obsessions — can help you forge an even more meaningful bond. 

One great way to do this is to brainstorm new things to talk about, whether in person or through a shared journal app like Waffle. Waffle user Patricia uses this method to bond with her faraway friends by sharing thoughts about things that don’t always come up in everyday conversation.

It’s brought me closer to the people that I care most about in this world

She says.

Whether you’re connecting on Waffle or talking in person, here are a few fun and meaningful prompts to chat about with your platonic friends:

• What’s one thing on your bucket list that you can’t wait to check off?

• If you could have any superpower, what would it be?

• What’s something you learned recently that blew your mind?

• What’s a recent change in your life that you haven’t talked about much?

• If you could go back in time and relive any day from this past year, which day would it be? 

3. Communicate!

When it comes to building a strong friendship, communication is key. As a rule of thumb, the more you keep in touch with your friends, the closer you’ll be. And it’s important to know that communication goes both ways — so, don’t always expect them to get the conversation rolling.

Even in times of distance, finding reasons to talk can subtly signal to your friend just how much you care about them. Whether you’re FaceTiming once a week or messaging back and forth nightly, it can make your friendship all the stronger.

Using a shared online journal is just one more line of communication that can bring you together.

Waffle has given me a way to connect with my friend during the summer because all of us are busy and away during that time.

says Waffle user Mia.

4. Spend Quality Time Together

Carving out quality time — even for things as seemingly insignificant as watching a movie or lounging on the couch together venting about life — can help you build friendships that last a lifetime. 

If your friendship’s routine has felt a bit stale lately, here are some fun quality time ideas that can help you mix things up:

• Hit up your local fair, carnival, or food truck festival.

• Plan out a nostalgic movie marathon, whether it’s 80s fantasy films or 90s comedies.

• Volunteer somewhere that means something to both of you, like an animal shelter or food shelf.

• Cook or bake a complicated recipe together. The challenge can bring you closer!

• Take up a new craft or hobby together, like learning an instrument or upcycling old thrifted clothes.

5. Respect Each Other’s Independence

When you have a good platonic friend, it can be easy to want to spend every waking minute with them. But the beauty of friendship is that you are still your own people with your own rich, vibrant lives. And if your goal is to nurture your friendship long-term, respecting each other’s individuality is key.

Not only can this prevent codependency, but it also helps you support each other’s freedom and sense of self. Plus, having time to do your own thing gives you a chance to relax, relieve stress, and self-reflect — all of which are key ingredients in healthy relationships.

To best support your friend’s independence, here are four tips to keep in mind:

• Remember their boundaries, and be intentional about respecting them. It will show just how much respect you have for your friend, and they will appreciate you more for it.

• Be empathetic when they need space. People may not always be great at verbalizing their needs, so aim to be mindful about when they might need some time to themselves.

• Support their decisions without being overbearing or pushy about your opinions. 

• Celebrate their passions, hobbies, and unique personality. You might not have everything in common, and that should be celebrated! Support them in doing what they love, even if you aren’t always a part of it.

Watch Out for Common Obstacles 

Like any relationship, platonic friendships can have their ups and downs. And if you get too comfortable, have a disagreement, or stop being honest with your friend, it can make for rocky territory. 

Luckily, remembering these tips can help you navigate any obstacles that you might face:

• If your friend isn’t OK with flirting, do your best to avoid it. When you have a close bond with someone, you might feel affectionate in a platonic way toward them. It’s natural! But it’s important to keep in mind any flirting or touch-related boundaries they’ve set.

• Check your comfort level. As human beings, it’s healthy and normal to seek comfort in our friends. However, being too comfortable might lead to overstepping, which could leave your friend feeling burnt out. 

• Honesty is the best policy. No matter what your feelings are, being respectfully honest can help you both decide how to best navigate any situation that comes up.

When Either of You Have Romantic Partners...

If you or your platonic friend are in a romantic relationship, it’s crucial to respect the partner(s) involved. 

Why? If your friend is committed to someone they love, respecting their relationship is an extension of respecting them. In that same vein, if you’re in a relationship, prioritizing your partner’s feelings shows you act with integrity and respect when it comes to everyone you care about.

Common Questions About Platonic Relationships

Whether you’ve noticed a recent shift in your friendship or caught romantic feelings yourself, here are some of the most common questions and answers surrounding platonic relationships:

How Do You Know When a Friendship Is Changing?

Platonic love can certainly evolve into romantic love, although it doesn’t happen all the time. Signs that your close friend might be turning into something more include:

• They’re starting to act differently around you. Perhaps you’ve picked up on subtle cues that could be perceived as flirtatious, such as them frequently glancing at you or always focusing on you most during group conversations.

• Your emotional intimacy has deepened over time. Even if you’re still “just friends,” maybe you’ve noticed that you’re both sharing more about your innermost thoughts, emotions, and experiences. 

• They seem to have more nerves around you. Maybe they stumble over their words, crack up for a little too long at your jokes, or blush more often in your presence.

• They start to show romantic interest through more intimate body language. Perhaps they stand a little closer to you when you’re out with friends, or wrap their arm around you when you least expect it.

If your feelings for a friend have evolved into something more, it doesn’t mean things have to be weird — or that you have to lose them as a friend. In one story, Waffle user Akilah shared how journaling together helped her navigate feelings like these: 

It helped me explain more about how I feel about the relationship with my friend.

We understood each other better when it came to our romantic feelings for each other. Waffle was great for me because I have a hard time expressing myself in words in front of a person, especially someone I have romantic feelings for.

Do Platonic Friends Flirt?

As long as it’s not crossing boundaries or causing confusing feelings, platonic friends can flirt. In fact, many people who are aromantic or asexual enjoy casually flirting with their friends, simply because flirting doesn’t always need to have an end goal. 

Of course, flirting with friends isn’t for everyone, and that’s OK. But depending on your personality, it can be a kind way to show your friends what you find endearing about them — and many people just find it fun!

How To Find New Platonic Friends 

Research shows that when it comes to meeting new friends, both personality and environment play a major role. In other words, finding people we “click” with and/or spending time participating in shared hobbies are some of the best ways for us to form new friendships.

So, if you’re on the lookout for new friends, do more of what genuinely lights up your spirit. One-time activities are great, but showing up somewhere regularly can make it even more likely that you’ll make a good friend. You can try:

• Joining clubs or groups 

• Playing video games together 

• Attending therapy or emotional support groups

• Volunteering somewhere with a mission you’re passionate about

• Going to fairs, Pride, or other local events 

The Takeaway 

It’s probably no surprise that platonic relationships are some of the most supportive and enriching friendships a person can have in their life. Whether it’s your work bestie or your partner in crime since childhood, these friendships are real, possible, and certainly worth nurturing. 

Looking for more ways to deepen your platonic bonds? Waffle can help. As a shared journaling app, Waffle acts as your digital bridge for connecting with your closest friends and loved ones — even in times when you might be separated by physical distance. 

Get started by downloading Waffle for free today, or learn more about how it can help you strengthen your bonds with those you love most.